SOMETIMES it’s like your heart is so full you feel as if it could explode at any moment.
Sometimes you feel almost frantic; panicked, like lightning is running through your veins. You feel happy and terrified all at the same time.
That’s what it feels like, to be a mother – like falling in love while marching towards your death. That heady mix of unconditional love that threatens to overwhelm everything and a bottomless pit of fear.
His silky hair. His velvet skin. His tiny perfectly formed fingers. His smile, his big blue eyes, his arms reaching out to you. Only you.
The way he discovers new things, plays busily with his toys, smushes food into his high chair; the way he delights in everything.
I stood in the cool dark beside his cot last night, listening to him breathing, watching him. He slept, as usual, on his back, with his arms thrown up carelessly behind his head.
So perfect. So content. So loved.
As I stood, I thought about the other child. The other perfect little being, not much older than my boy, who died yesterday in America after being accidentally left in a car. And my heart shattered.
I thought about his mother and his father. Destroyed. Broken. Their worst fear realised. Their lives undone.
How does a parent cope when they lose a child? I can’t imagine it. I don’t want to imagine it.
Stroking my baby’s forehead last night I wept for that other little boy and his parents. Tears of sorrow and tears of relief, that it wasn’t me. And it wasn’t him.
Hug your little ones a bit closer today. We don’t know how lucky we are.
I’VE been taking part in the lovely Bumbles of Rice’s linky challenge this week looking at what real families eat for their dinner every night.
Since The Beast came along we’ve been making an extra effort to cook from scratch and to use fresh ingredients and also to try to include vegetables and fruit at every meal. We did Baby Led Weaning with Seán so he eats what we eat, which is great, as I’m the laziest mother you can imagine.
Anyway! To the dinners!
Monday: we had Cheat’s Pizza. Basically a grilled Mediterranean wrap with pesto, ham and cheese (popped back under the grill to melt the cheese) topped with vine tomatoes and a green leaf salad. Seán didn’t have the tomato and salad but he made up for it by horsing into a banana and half a punnet of blueberries after!
Tuesday: we had turkey burgers, garlic bread and roast vegetables. I made the turkey burgers myself and they’re REALLY easy and tasty. It’s just turkey mince, shaped into patties, dipped in egg and then rolled in breadcrumbs. I add basil and parsley to the breadcrumbs to give them a bit of flavour. Fry then in a little olive oil until they’re cooked through. I served them on some garlic bread and roasted mushroom, courgette, red pepper and tomatoes. Seán also had peas as he’s mad about them.
Wednesday: we had pasta Bolognese. I just bung mince into the pan then add mushroom, peppers and whatever other veg I have going in the fridge, chuck in a tin of tomatoes, some tomato puree, some basil and some garlic (all dried) a spoon of sugar and then let it simmer. Voila! A firm favourite here, it was gobbled up.
Thursday: I went out for dinner with the girls! The Beast and Yer Man fended for themselves while I had Dim Sim to start followed by scallops and prawns in a ginger and soy sauce and apple crumble for dessert. SCRUMPTIOUS!
Friday: The Beast was packed off to his Nana’s with pasta pesto, ham, tomatoes and peas so we had a Tesco Dine in for Two meal. We had a cheese and leek filo pastry yoke, with maple roast vegetables and some mash. Was really yum! We generally don’t eat ready meals as they’re high in salt so we wouldn’t share with Seán and it’s a pain to have to cook separately for him, so we usually only occasionally have junk, when he’s not here.
So there you have it! Our Monday to Friday menu this week. It was a bit of an unusual week as I’m normally not out for dinner and we wouldn’t normally have a ready meal either but if every week was the same, it’d get very boring.
Tell me, what’s your weekly menu like? Head over to Bumbles of Rice to read what everyone else is having for their dinners. Thanks to Sinéad for the idea, it’s been really fun!