I’M a stay at home mother and some days I do nothing.
I almost feel like I should have started that by ‘confessing’ that some days I do nothing. It’s a cardinal sin to admit that sometimes when you’re at home all day with a kid, you do nothing.
But it’s the truth. At least it is for me. At least some days.
Most days there’s something on the agenda – we meet friends, we go to the playground or the play centre or the park, we go shopping. There’s arts and crafts and baking and colouring and enormous rolls of paper covering the floor for finger painting. There’s reading and building blocks and counting and singing and kitchen discos and elaborate train tracks and always, always, there’s Lego.
But some days The Beast is fed and dressed and kept warm and safe and loved and that’s about it. No structured activities, no outings, nothing. His toys are laid out on the floor and he’s told to knock himself out.
I keep him alive. And some days, that’s enough. Some days that responsibility is enough. At it’s very core, I’m mothering. That’s my job. And often I feel like that job is overlooked, the very essence of what it is to be a parent is dismissed as ‘nothing’.
Of course it isn’t like that every day, it couldn’t be. We’d both be bored, for one. Kids need fresh air and friends for another. So most of the time it’s a busy, noisy, action packed life. But some days we do nothing. And I’m over feeling guilty about it.
I often feel like I need to justify what I’ve done with the day – I need a list of accomplishments, or else the day has been a failure. If I can’t list off a least three things that we’ve ‘done’ that day, then somehow I’m not a good parent.
I’m not going to do that anymore. I’m not going to feel like that. Because it’s bullshit.
It’s ok to do nothing some days. It’s ok to hunker down with some toys and spend a lazy afternoon together. It’s even ok to enjoy it.
So here’s to staying in your PJs, long days playing with toys, and relaxing on the sofa; here’s to *gasp* two movies in a row, late lunches and lying out on a blanket in the back garden.
Here’s to doing nothing. Because really, when you think about it, doing nothing some days can be everything.