Rocking the Mullet look.
THE Beast is going through a bit of a phase at the moment where he freaks out meeting new people and has a meltdown if he even thinks that I might be considering leaving the room.
It’s been going on for a while actually. A good long phase.
He’s not so bad with people he knows, he’s fine going to his Nana’s house and playing with Granny in the sitting room – but if the girl in Tesco has the audacity to look in his general direction he loses the plot. Earsplittingly.
So when Yer Man and I realised last week that he was half blind because his fringe was in his eyes, we looked at each other and as one said: “I’m fucked if I’m bringing him to the hairdresser”.
So we did what any responsible parents would do – we Googled ‘how to cut a baby’s hair’ and did it ourselves one night at bathtime.
We even – and I’m actually ashamed to admit this? – uttered the immortal words “Sure how hard could it be?”
We weren’t going for a full on cut or style or anything, we literally just wanted to snip the scraggly ends of his fringe out of his eyes and get rid of the mullet at the back.
Disregarding all advice to the contrary, I grabbed my embroidery scissors (I KNOW) spritzed his hair and got to work.
Sweat beading my upper lip, I instructed Yer Man to be on hand with a variety of toys and songs to distract The Beast and I made the first cut.
Fuck.
I took off more than I had intended.
No matter, no matter, he has loads of hair, I reasoned, so it’ll be a bit shorter. So what.
*Snip snip*
Fuck.
All the instructions on Google said NOT to cut in a straight line across his forehead or else you’ll get a ‘pudding bowl’ effect. You’re supposed to ‘feather’ it instead.
Yeah.
I went for the pudding bowl effect.
Well, YOU try ‘feathering’ the hair of a 12kg squealing octopus and get back to me.
So anyway, I thought I might as well be hung for a sheep as a lamb, so I continued snipping and, well, it doesn’t look … I mean … well …
SLIGHTLY lopsided
I hear the Monk look is all the rage these days.
The Beast is DELIGHTED with his new look
It’s out of his eyes in anyway.
Yer Man looked at me aghast, gulping, trying to find the right words.
There were no right words.
At the time we made the best of it and actually, fresh from the bath with his hair slightly damp and brushed to one side, it didn’t look that bad at first.
But as the days have gone on we’ve had to admit it:
The Beast looks like a cross between a convict and a Franciscan monk. It’s lopsided, scraggly, and utterly utterly hilarious.
Nana and Gaga arrived in on Sunday morning to take him off for the day and suppressed their laughter admirably.
“Lookit,” sez Nana, patting my arm comfortingly “it’ll grow.”
Beating Myself Into a Dress 
Mikaela Dingee
It always grows back! Don’t worry, my son got his hair cut by mommy too. I had to crawl after him after the initial sitting in the high chair. Hubby joked he looks like Justin Bieber. I think he looks gentlemanly. To each their own I suppose.
beatingmyselfintoadress
Thank you! I’m sure your little one does not look like Justin Bieber! The horror! Divorce your husband immediately!
Emma
Karen, he’s only gorgeous!! He’s working the asymetric fringe l My little destructor has been rocking that hairstyle since he was born so at least you KNOW the Beast’s hair will grow back!
Now cm’here and tell me exactly how long this phase of meltdown when you leave the room has been going on? The destructor is grand when he’s in in his Nana’s house but even at home when his daddy is there with him if I even think about leaving the room, the tears start. I’m just wondering if there’s a chance I’ll be able to go to the loo in peace before he starts school?
beatingmyselfintoadress
Emma – I wish I had words of comfort for you, I really do. But I’m sorry, this has been going on for MONTHS. Months and months and months. I thought it was a phase, but it really isn’t! He’s 21 months now, and it’s been going on …I can’t actually remember, but months. I hear there’s another ‘leap’ or developmental yoke around 2 years and then it gets better. Allegedly? If that’s any use to you?
Emma
Ah, I’ll just take comfort in the fact I’m not the only one this happens to – I’ve been having the aul “I’m a failure as a parent ” feeling for a bit over it. Only 11 months to go until that developmental yoke for me……………………………………
Wonderful Wagon
It’s deadly looking!!!!!! A good looking child can wear any hair cut well.
My Little Babog Blog
Oh the amount of hair cuts I attempted to fix in salon and at home. Mammies swearing the child cut it themselves. As adorable as little man is I can’t help but laugh. He’s sure rocking it. Little cutie!
beatingmyselfintoadress
I’m too mortified now to bring him to a salon! I’ll just have to brazen it out!
My Little Babog Blog
He’s rocking it, he’s grand! If anyone asks his cousin did it…
tendernessontheblock
Well done. Our one looks like love-child of Herman Monster and Dora Explorer. Professionally done, too.
Julie Holmes
He looks like an edgy Scandi baby to me…he just needs a jumper.
missgreeneyes83
Karen, his face in that last photo made me laugh so much, pure “look what you DID”. I’ve done it to Edward too, he looked so strange for weeks, half a curly fringe and two tufts over his ears like a shaggy dog. Bit the bullet and took him to hairdresser in December and its as bad again now. I snipped a tiny, tiny bit out of his eyes but he’s starting to look like Fran from love hate.