“DO you remember the first time we said ‘I love you’ to each other?” I asked Yer Man earlier.
He wrinkled his brow and sat back in his chair, pursing his lips.
“God…I’m sure I…let me think, I’ll get it in a minute,” he said in a worried tone, throwing me sidelong glances, sure he was in for an ear bashing for not remembering the magic moment.
I let him stew for a bit before giving in.
“It’s all right,” I said into the strained silence “I don’t remember either.”
“Oh thanks be to GOD,” he let out in a great whoosh of air “I was sure you were going to batter me.”
We sat for ages, thinking, letting our minds wander back.
Of course one of the reasons neither of us could remember was that it was so long ago, as it happened very early on in the relationship.
Very early indeed.
We were only going out about two weeks when we laid all our cards on the table.
Suddenly Yer Man jumped from his seat “It was a text message!”
Oh God, he was right.
It was indeed a text message, after about six dates. How very technological of us.
We had been beating around the proverbial and one night I couldn’t stand it any longer and said it in a text.
Luckily he pinged back an ‘I love you too!’ message pretty quick sharpish, so I wasn’t left on tenterhooks wondering if I’d just killed yet another relationship.
Of course we lied about it to our friends. We couldn’t admit we had said it so early on, that we had broken all the Rules. I knew from our second date that I would be spending the rest of my life with this man, but I couldn’t tell anybody that. You wouldn’t tell anybody that.
I remember my birthday, about five months after we started going out, when a bunch of roses appeared in my workplace, sent by Yer Man.
The card wished me a happy birthday and was signed with an ‘I love you’.
“Oh my God! Is that the first time he’s said I love you?!” squealed a colleague, jumping up and down with excitement.
“Erm, yes, yes it is,” I lied, embarrassed. Too embarrassed to tell her that at that stage we had said it, and meant it, about a bajillion times.
We hugged our secret to ourselves, like thieves, taking it out when nobody was looking to savour it, to relish it.
We only LOVED saying it, so we did. Every text message, every date, every kiss and cuddle.
It would have got boring only for, you know, we were in love and all of that junk.
In twenty days we are going to be saying a very big I love you, a very public I love you, when we marry and it got me thinking and remembering the first time.
What about you – do you remember your first I love you?