MOST brides lose weight before their weddings.
I can’t stop eating.
I don’t care.
I’ve actually gone past caring.
I just can’t stop eating.
I’m not on any diet, I’m not following any healthy eating plan, I’m not even just eating sensibly.
I’m just eating.
I blame the dress woman and to a certain extent, The Dress itself.
It’s boned and corseted to within an inch of its life.
It pulls me in good-oh, creates an hour-glass shape and the full skirt hides my, frankly, gigantic thighs and ass.
Of course I’m still fat in it, because I AM fat, but it looks good.
“Look at your waist in that,” the dress woman exclaimed when I expressed a fear that I looked enormous “it’s tiny.”
She pulled the strings of the corset tighter and I realised she was right.
Obviously, not tiny, never tiny. But there. A waist. In and out.
So where’s my motivation?
I stood in Tesco mulling this over earlier, wondering if I should reign myself in.
The woman on the checkout beeped through my all-butter croissant, my can of Coke, my half pound of real butter, my sausages and then finally my bridal magazine.
She looked at me, a question flitting across her eyes.
Most brides lose weight before their weddings, right?
I packed my bag in a huff and stormed home, kicking stones and cursing the world, getting myself worked up.
Then I thought of the delicious croissant nestling delicately in my bag, and I brightened.
*Note – that’s not me in the picture above!